Someone to Kiss Read online

  “Let’s go inside.”

  Dane led Carter inside, through the foyer, and into the kitchen. They sat side by side at the breakfast bar, and Dane stared at a blank spot on the refrigerator door.

  “Okay. We’re inside.”

  Dane took Carter’s hand. “I got a call from Bill today.”

  “Oh shit.” Carter jumped to his feet. “Did you lose your job or something?”

  “No, no,” Dane said. “He would never fire me.”

  “Oh, that’s good.” Carter sat back down.

  “But I have to go to Alexandria, Virginia,” Dane said.

  “When?”

  “The day after Christmas.”

  Carter sighed. “That’s not too bad, but please tell me you’ll be back by New Year’s Eve?”

  Dane didn’t answer. Tears stung his eyes and eventually ran down his cheeks.

  Carter reached over and brushed a tear off of Dane’s cheek. “I’ll be terribly disappointed if you can’t make it back, but I’ll get over it. I promise.”

  “Will you get over it if I don’t make it back for a year?” Dane whispered.

  “I must be mistaken. I thought I just heard you say a year?”

  Dane stood and started pacing. “You’re not mistaken.”

  Dane explained everything to Carter, and when he was finished, they were both silent. Carter seemed stunned. His eyes were locked on Dane’s and his unwavering gaze projected anger, hurt, and abandonment. Dane wasn’t sure if he could actually read the blank stare, but that was how he would feel in Carter’s place. He couldn’t blame Carter for his reaction.

  Minutes or hours passed, Dane didn’t know which, but he finally spoke. “Please say this isn’t the end of us.”

  Carter took Dane into his arms. “Just quit the damn job,” he said. “If money is the issue, I make more than enough to support us both until you find another job. You can’t go.”

  “I want to stay,” Dane said. “More than you’ll ever know, but as great as all that sounds, money is not the issue. I can’t leave Bill in a tough spot. I just can’t, for a host of reasons. I gave him my word, and Carter… he’s been good to me. I can’t let him down.” Dane sighed. “I’m so screwed. Unless….”

  Dane’s heart raced, and he felt a little faint. This was it. His last option. He knew it was a long shot and really not fair to ask Carter to relocate his practice to Virginia or Seattle, but he was in panic mode and grasping at the proverbial straw. Then his heart sank even further. What if by chance Carter did agree to the long-distance thing for six months, eventually moved his practice to Seattle, and then Dane had to move again?

  “Unless what?” Carter asked.

  No. I have no right to ask him to give up his life and his practice, no matter how desperate I am.

  “Unless what?” Carter repeated, a little louder this time.

  Dane was suddenly refereeing a mental standoff in his head. Ask Carter to pick up his entire life and follow him? Or not? In the end he decided if he were a good and decent guy, he wouldn’t put Carter on the spot and ask something so selfish of him.

  “Uh, nothing. Sorry. I don’t know what I’m saying.”

  Carter didn’t respond. He released Dane and then turned and walked away, disappearing through the open door that led to the living room.

  Dane gave him a few minutes and followed. Carter was sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the Christmas tree.

  “Please talk to me, Carter.”

  “There’s nothing really to say,” Carter whispered. “It’s happening to me all over again.”

  Dane felt the words as if they were a dagger to his heart. He was the one hurting Carter this time, and there was no way around it.

  The next few hours passed mostly in silence. Dane tried to talk to Carter. Make him tell Dane how he was feeling, but Carter had mentally checked out and retreated to a place where he was unreachable.

  Finally Carter said, “I need time to process all of this, Dane.”

  “Please don’t shut me out,” Dane pleaded. “Let’s talk this through. We can make it work. I know we can.”

  “I think I was pretty clear with you regarding how I feel about long-distance relationships.”

  “You were,” Dane said. “But if we both work at it, maybe we can pull it off.”

  Carter snapped. “Maybe is the part that scares me, Dane. I tried this once. Remember? And it got me nothing but heartache.”

  “I remember. And I’m sorry. But I’m not your ex. Give me a chance.”

  “I need some alone time to process all of this,” Carter said. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”

  Dane felt like he was being dismissed, and it didn’t sit well with him, but he had no choice but to honor Carter’s wishes. He rested his hands on Carter’s shoulders, bent over, and kissed him on top of the head. Carter didn’t move or react in any way, so Dane left.

  Chapter Two

  CHRISTMAS AND the time leading up to it was a strange mixture of anger on both their parts, along with joy, sorrow, and other emotional ups and downs. This was supposed to be a happy and fun time for them, but Carter felt like Dane had betrayed him. He’d promised he wouldn’t choose his job over their relationship, but here they were living under a huge and very dark cloud that threatened everything they had. Each time he and Dane found themselves enjoying a moment, one or both of them would withdraw emotionally, leaving an awkward space between them.

  Over the last couple of weeks, they’d talked endlessly about what lay ahead for them. Although Dane said on more than one occasion that only four months together was too soon for them to make a life-changing decision, Carter knew how he felt about Dane. But he understood Dane’s reluctance. Carter would be giving up everything if he went with Dane. Not that Dane had asked him to, but Carter knew that was probably a burden Dane didn’t want to carry if things didn’t work out between them. And Dane had never said he loved him, which only made things even more unsteady.

  After much deliberation, what they had both reluctantly agreed to was the one thing neither of them wanted, but since they saw no other solution, it was the end of the road for them. They agreed that, in a year, if Dane was able to come back and neither had met anyone else, they would see if there was anything left for them. But for the next year, they were unattached.

  On Christmas night, shortly after dinner, Carter and Dane climbed into bed and lay in the comfort of each other’s arms. The usual physical sensation of safety and security was not gone altogether, but Carter’s heart ached with the emptiness of the beginning of the end. The next morning when the alarm sounded, Dane would leave for Virginia, and Carter would be alone. That was their reality.

  And the next morning that’s exactly what happened. Each showered and dressed without saying a single word. If Carter said anything, it would be to beg Dane to stay or offer to close his practice to go with him, but neither of those choices were real options or even on the table.

  The ride to Greenville-Spartanburg International Airport was about the longest twenty minutes Carter had ever experienced. In order to spend every last second together, they had decided Dane would travel by air and ship his car to Alexandria, along with the furniture Bill had bought from him, some of it to be used in the new office and the rest to be stored away for later use. Amid the silence and tension laying heavy in the air, Carter was second-guessing that decision.

  Occasionally he glanced over at Dane, but Dane was staring out the window, his chin resting in his open hand. When they parked and got to the security checkpoint, Dane turned to him with watery eyes. “I guess this is it.”

  “I guess so,” Carter said in a shaky voice. “Call me and let me know you made it there safely.”

  “I will.” Dane hesitated. “Carter,” he finally choked out, his voice cracking, “I’ll miss—”

  “I know, Dane. Me too.”

  Dane kissed Carter on the cheek. “This is not goodbye. I’ll see you in a year.”

  Carter nodded and Dan
e turned to walk away. He took three steps, dropped his bags at his feet, made a one-eighty, and launched himself into Carter’s open arms.

  Dane squeezed so tightly, Carter had to fight for breath, but that was okay. Dane was in his arms, and that’s where he belonged. Even if it was for only a few fleeting seconds. Carter slid his arms around Dane’s waist, and they stood there for who knew how long, but eventually Dane released him, kissed him on the lips this time, turned, picked up his bags, and disappeared around the corner.

  DANE BOARDED his plane and took his first-class seat. He immediately ordered a double bourbon on the rocks, downed it, and ordered a second. An attractive middle-aged lady in a business suit took the seat next to him and smiled as she stuck her attaché under the seat. Dane smiled back but turned his attention to the window. The bourbon was starting to have an effect on him, and he was suddenly relaxed and sleepy.

  The last thing Dane wanted to do was make small talk with a bored business traveler, so as soon as the plane backed away from the gate, he pulled the shade down, reclined his seat, and closed his eyes. Carter’s handsome face suddenly appeared in his mind and their airport goodbye played out over and over in his head. He remembered back to the day they’d first met….

  DANE SAT in the waiting room of the local urgent care, or doc-in-a-box as they were often called, and waited for his turn. His hands were shaky, and he was doing his best to keep down the little bit of liquid he’d managed to consume in the last fourteen hours.

  The nurse opened a door and stuck her head out. “Dane McCormick?”

  Dane stood on shaky legs. “Yes. I’m here.”

  “Right this way.” She held the door open for him, led him to the examination room, and closed the door behind them.

  She gestured to the examination table. “Please have a seat.”

  While they waited, she stuck a thermometer in his ear and then took his pulse. When the thermometer beeped, she read the results and entered them into a computer. She then slipped the blood pressure cuff around his arm and pumped it up. The tight sensation eased as she counted down. Finally the cuff released and she slid it off.

  “How long have you had this fever?” she asked.

  “It started last night,” Dane explained. “Followed by nausea, chills, and vomiting. A lot of vomiting.”

  “Have you been able to keep anything down at all?”

  “Barely a little Sprite.”

  “When is the last time you vomited?”

  “In your parking lot,” Dane said cringing at the thought of hurling his guts out in front of the world. Probably only one or two passersby, in fact, but it sure felt like the world.

  “Oh,” the nurse said tapping the keyboard again and then digging into a drawer and handing Dane a kidney-shaped pink bowl. “Just in case.”

  He looked at the bowl oddly. It didn’t look big enough to hold a glass of water, not to mention a grown man’s— He cut off that thought abruptly.

  “I know, right?” the nurse said with a knowing glance. “But it’s what they give us.”

  Then she handed him something in a plastic wrapper. “Please remove your shirt and put this on. The doctor will be with you shortly.”

  “Thank you,” Dane said as she left the room.

  Dane unbuttoned and slipped off his shirt and replaced it with the blue paper gown. “At least it’s blue and not pink,” he said out loud as he shivered and tried to mentally settle his stomach.

  Five minutes passed, and Dane was feeling worse each minute. He didn’t know how much longer he could hold out, but he certainly didn’t want to hurl in front of the doctor. He considered leaving the room and finding the nearest bathroom, but then he might miss the doctor and have to wait longer, so he stayed put, closed his eyes, and tried to think of anything other than hurling.

  At the sound of the door, Dane opened his eyes and stared at the man who entered the room. For a moment, he forgot about being sick. Jesus! He’s gorgeous. The guy was near six feet in height—a couple of inches shorter than Dane’s own six-foot-two-inch frame. He had jet-black hair with one streak of silver over his right eyebrow and the brightest and kindest sapphire-blue eyes Dane had ever seen. The doctor smiled warmly, and Dane’s stomach did backflips again. This time he wasn’t sure if it was his illness or the handsome doc making his stomach flutter.

  They locked eyes and each held each other’s gaze for a long moment while Dane imagined all sorts of inappropriate things.

  The doctor finally looked away and then closed the door. “Mr. McCormick. Hi there,” he said, offering his hand. “I’m Dr. Baldridge, but I don’t have a big ego or go for that ‘doctor’ crap, so please call me Carter.”

  Dane accepted Carter’s outstretched hand, and the two men shook.

  “I hear you’re having some stomach problems.”

  “That’s an understatement,” Dane said.

  “Could it be something you ate?” Carter asked.

  Dane thought about the question. “You mean like food poisoning?”

  Carter nodded.

  “I doubt it,” Dane said. “I worked until seven yesterday, and when I got home, I ate a small omelet. Shortly after, I began to feel queasy, and then the fever, chills, and vomiting started.”

  “Let’s have a look at you, then,” Carter said.

  Carter opened Dane’s gown and Dane looked down to see goose bumps all over his chest and arms. His shivering seemed to increase.

  The doctor frowned. “You’re cold. It’s the fever.”

  Carter opened a metal cabinet resembling a microwave oven or something, removed a blanket, draped it over Dane’s shoulders, and rubbed his hands up and down the outside of Dane’s arms. “This should help you warm up.”

  The blanket was warm and cozy, obviously heated, but the hands moving up and down his arms would have probably done the trick. Dane was grateful for them both.

  “Now this might be a bit cold,” Carter said as he breathed on his stethoscope and then laid it against Dane’s chest. “Take a deep breath for me.”

  Dane jerked a little at the coolness of the metal against his skin but did as he was told. Carter pressed the stethoscope in several locations on his chest and back as Dane breathed in and out.

  “Your chest sounds okay.”

  Suddenly Dane’s head started to spin, and he started shaking. “Oh jeez,” he mumbled, reaching for the pink bowl.

  Dane barely got the bowl in place before he let go. He wasn’t a good hurler. He was loud and animated, and as each spasm coursed through him, he was mortified that the doctor had to see this. But instead of looking away, Carter rubbed Dane’s back and talked softly to him. “It’s okay. Get it all out of your system.”

  Luckily it was nothing more than clear liquid, the remnants of yesterday’s lunch and his omelet long gone. When the vomiting turned to dry heaves and eventually stopped, Carter dropped the nearly overflowing bowl in the trash, wet a cloth with warm water, and handed it to Dane.

  Dane wiped his face and mouth. “I’m so sorry,” he said. “I’m sure this is not how you wanted to start your day.”

  “Mr. McCormick, if you knew what I see in the course of a day, you’d realize this is nothing.”

  Dane smiled weakly. “Please call me Dane.”

  Carter nodded. “Can you lie back for me without your stomach turning over too much?”

  Dane was grateful for the opportunity and lay back as Carter lifted Dane’s legs, paused to pull out an extension to the examining table, and rested Dane’s feet on it.

  “Nice boots.”

  “Thanks.”

  “You a cowboy?”

  “Not really, but I guess I used to be,” Dane said.

  “I see.” Carter looked up and met Dane’s eyes. Once the extension was locked in place, he straightened. “Are you comfortable?”

  Dane nodded.

  Carter opened the gown again. He released Dane’s belt, unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, and then pulled them open enough to ease his f
ingers down to Dane’s lower abdomen. He started pressing and prodding, and when Dane jumped at a sensitive spot, Carter stopped. “A little irritated there, huh?”

  “A little,” Dane said. He looked down and realized his tenderness was the least of his worries when he saw the hard bulge starting to fill his underwear. It surprised him that even with his stomach turning inside out and the embarrassment of hurling in front of Carter, he was still able to get an erection.

  To Dane’s embarrassment, Carter glanced at Dane’s stretched briefs, but he didn’t comment on what was making the cotton so taut. “I’m sure the sensitivity is from the vomiting.”

  Dane nodded without a word. This guy must think I’m some kind of pervert. Getting an erection in the doctor’s office.

  Carter closed Dane’s paper gown again and tightened the blanket around him. “I’m fairly certain it’s just a stomach virus, but you’re starting to show signs of dehydration, so I’m gonna start an IV and get a bag of fluids and some antinausea drugs into you. That should do the trick until this thing passes.”

  “Thank you,” Dane said, hopefully sounding as grateful as he felt.

  “I’ll be right back.”

  Dane zipped up his jeans and buckled his belt, but he didn’t move. He was afraid to. He didn’t want to hurl again in front of the hot doctor.

  Minutes later Carter returned with an IV bag of liquids. “You okay with needles?”

  “Ahhh. Not really a fan, but I’ll….”

  “No worries, then. I’ll try and make this as painless as possible.”

  Carter pulled out a syringe with a hair-thin needle and a small bottle. He stuck the needle into the bottle, filled it, and tapped it with his finger. “This will numb the area before I insert the IV needle.”

  Dane sighed.

  “Relax,” Carter said. “You’re not the first manly man I’ve seen who doesn’t like needles.”

  Dane smiled weakly. Then the IV was finally in—one attempt, for which he was grateful. He hadn’t felt a thing.

  “Good job,” Dane said with relief in his voice. “Gotta love a doctor who can do this in one try.”